My mind is full.
My head is heavy.
I don't want to have to deeply ponder things.
I want to drown out my thoughts with loud, meaningless sounds. Therefore, I turn on KIIS fm.
My mind is full.
My head is heavy.
I don't want to cover up my feelings with party music, when I'm not in a party mood at all.
I want to listen to songs that perfectly describe how I feel. I turn to my iPod playlist "On-the-Go 35".
My mind is full.
My head is heavy.
I don't want to talk about what's going on; what's got me feeling like this.
I want to talk around what's going on. I'd rather not really mention it, but just kind of deal with it. So I write this post.
8 years ago
4 comments:
Darling, beautiful, young woman. This will probably be the hardest, most confusing, most frustrating time of your life. I wouldn't go back to high school or junior high if someone paid me 100 million dollars cash and promised I'd never have to pay taxes on it. But the good news? LIFE GETS SO MUCH BETTER. I promise.
And I can't wait to see you in two weeks-ish!
Hope you're right. . .
I am soooo glad you have a mind, and it is such a fantastically creative mind, imaginative, bright, curious! I know that there are days when things feel full and heavy, but sometimes, and this is gonna kinda peece u off or annoy you, but still, there are times when it's even mostly just your hormones messing with your mind, no seriously, and that actually lasts for years... and it's o.k. 'cause those are the meditative days when you actually can get some deep thinking done. I love you ratso.
I understand about talking around what's going on. I did that to my mom for years. I'm not sure why. I knew that she would understand, so that wasn't why. I never really figured out why. Maybe I didn't want her to see me cry, because she had so many of her own problems and I didn't want to add to them. I'm 44 and I still don't know why I talk around what's going on with the people I love. I try really hard to talk directly about what's going on, but it's hard. What if Mosca thinks I'm weird? What if Tyger thinks I'm overreacting? What if my friends think I'm nuts? So I get it. But, I really wish I had been more direct with the people I love. No one would have judged me. That was my mistake. So try, sweet M., to be direct as much as you can. No one will hurt you, I swear, and the reward is that you feel lighter, better, happier. And people know you. And that's a very good thing.
Post a Comment